1. Refried.

don’t make it out to be worse than it is, andrew - those tires are only flat on the bottom.

Officer: Where you coming from?

Matlock! Now that’s relevant and timely.  

My retirement plan is go until the money runs out, then:

The good news for people like me is that robots think it’s beneath them to work as WalMart greeters.

Same for me. But only because I have no retirement savings and will probably work until I drop dead anyway.

“So the big question here, is Booker’s basketball star potential to actress hotness ratio going to be a like Lindsay Lohan, where her amazing hotness peaked at age 20 and her return could be measured at pennies on the dollar in the years after that?

Sorry pal, Blake don’t fight anyone over 5'9"

In High School, my friends were the gear heads. My best friend, Jason, was a BMW and Porsche enthusiast, while I (at the time) was a Mustang man. Anyway, Jason’s neighbor bought, brand new, a Porsche Carrera GT. Now don’t get me wrong, this was a nice enough neighborhood, but not that nice (the car was probably…

True story - I went to Northeastern when Jose Juan (that’s what we called him in the good old days) was there. I got in an elevator at my dorm one day and he steps in beside me. I was a stoner and thought it would be douchey to say anything, and was high as fuck so I just smiled when he came in.

JP2 should be #1 on Deadspin, because of his softball skills. Not even joking, look up “John Paul II batting cage.”

If anyone finds a modifier, please return it to the Deadspin headline writer since he misplaced his.

The original, of course.

Another fun story is in the 80s when NHL refs were told to speed up the game coming out of TV breaks, she was told to stall them so they’d get the puck drop. Previous guys argued to wait, but it didn’t work. So she put a sixer in front of the refs’ locker room before the game. Miraculously, TV got an extra 10-20…

My mom worked with the Pirates announce crew for a while.

The problem with the CD4E (as I understood it) was that it was insufficiently cooled. When mine was replaced (and praise Jebus it wasn’t a failure but a shop accident that trashed it and netted me a new one installed at their cost when the car was at 95K miles!), I had an auxiliary transmission cooler installed, which…

I have one of these in my driveway, except mine is an 02. They are truly underrated cars, comfortable, the interior isn’t absolute shit, excellent steering and good poise on the road and in the twisties. What these cars don’t have though, is stellar reliability. The 2.5L Duratec is a good engine with good reliability,…

"Innocent I" wasn't even popular until Yoda got kicked out of the seminary for touching that young Jedi.