Hahahaha!!!

If you really wanted some eyeballs on this thing, the Lotus should have been misspelled with a P. Then you could have corrected it after you had one billion views. "Oops, we were talking about a car!" (And I mean this from a provocative sense, not in any political way)

Great thinking! These things do it all!

I just wanted to say that you are one of the best athletes I've ever seen. It's too bad you came out of Missou when you did, someone might have actually put you at QB nowadays, would have loved to have seen it. Good luck with the event.

Based on this impression, this little girl needs all the practice she can get.

If you seriously don't know who Rex Chapman is, pretty sure you think the Nuggets play hockey.

Is this news because it's making beat writers jealous?

[stands in front of urinal]

If these God damn professional football players can't stop hitting women and children, I'm afraid that my fantasy football league is going to have to fold due to the lack of available running backs. And that would be a real shame, Commissioner Tagliabue!

Just think, you have to actively put this on your car! "Yeah, I like to fish but SPORT CHALET!"

Nothing says "Welcome to Southern California" quite like the sight of a Galpin license plate frame.

Wow! All that and you still spelled 'semen hole' wrong! (+1)

+1 piece of driftwood

It's so strange to see someone baby talking to a Cadillac Escalade in the title to an essay. "Oh you little wittle Escalady! Would you like to whiten your booties?"

I'm sure it was a touching reenactment because "When You're Here (at the Garden), You're Family!"

True story: My old roommate's dad was from Italy and had his own Italian restaurant in Sacramento for 20 years. He used to bring us over some of his food and it was heavenly. One day I was bad mouthing Olive Garden and my roommate told me his dad's favorite restaurant was Olive Garden.

Hey, that makes a lot of sense. To me, you look like one of those dressed down guys with shit loads of money you see wandering around Vegas, but only because you're exiting the Ferrari. The Ferrari is just such a large fashion statement in itself I think you may have to wear a hard hat, overalls and keep a jack hammer…

Which may, in the long run, help you make the right decision and stop wearing flip flops.

Amid all the other words, here is why Apple Pay even exists: 'The whole Apple Pay process is also streamlined, so that you never need to take out your wallet or—with newer iPhones, at least—type in a PIN.' Pretty fucking pathetic. All the complications are on the back end, as a consumer it seems the only benefit is…

I guess he's no longer the BEST driver.