I met an astrophysicist from China once. I asked him what he thought of Mark Twain. He said he didn't know who that was. I immediately dismissed him as an idiot.

That video looks like an advertisement for bacha bazi in Miami.

You heard it from a coworker? Was he coaching you? I need help sometimes as well, my last girlfriend is blind.

Is this a trend? Should I be saying this more often, so that I look cool and hip? I'm going to scream it on the bus ride home as an experiment.

Tyrese Gibson is obviously photobombing. It makes me wonder how he even get into the party without his gray sweatshirt.

This is how I would summarize:
Two famous-only-to-the-lonely-sports-fan losers meet up at a fancy restaurant in Beverly Hills with a bunch of sub-losers in tow, some attracted to the one uber-loser's shaved widows peak and some attracted to the other uber-loser's basketball career. They sit drinking water because while…

Thanks for the reply man! Will it be yours for good or another delivery?

How are you liking the current car?

Q. How long does Lionel Ritchie sit on the toilet?

This is my favorite scene from 'La Dolce Cortina'.

Seems to me that anyone that would visit a site titled "Hot Chicks with Douche Bags" would probably a good candidate for being featured on that site, should they ever be able to attain the necessary female accoutrement. Should you aspire to do so, I would recommend not approaching the 'hot chicks' with knowledge of…

He'll be so excited to read this!

This starts off a lot like a letter to my dad.

FUKC?!?!

Man, that sure sounds rough! At least you can joke about it now.

HAHAHA!!!

God damn it! How do you edit or erase? FUCK!

2 days from now, suburban home somewhere in Michigan:

Once McIlroy learned the rules of tennis, he realized that Wozniacki and her have two completely different versions of love.

She sure did!