Making fun of someone in a coma? That's always good for a laugh!

It could be worse. I'm watching an old VHS recording of an 1989 Stockton Ports Single A baseball game (John Jaha hit 3 homers!) while a stray dog licks peanut butter off of my dick.

Oh man, that looks totally legit!

I love curry. But Thai curry.

Damn, you're good! How'd you figure that one out?

I think you meant to say 'second' least-deserving.

WOW!!!

This way my dad's way of telling me and my brother he was gay.

Lorem ipsum jokes aren't exactly easy to come by, especially good ones.

I would just like to say that despite my starred status, any of you who would actually suffer enough to read what I write would know that I'm not always the quickest on the uptake. The reason I say this is because I sometimes get confused on the personalities and, if I may take the liberty, the actual character of…

(W)hile a little light on compassion and a little heavy on xenophobia—did drop $60 on a video game and would like just a little assistance in return.

This is great! +1

+1 So fucking true.

That's great!

+1

You're going to get wasted!

He'll always be Lil' to me.

Does anyone know what the effects of sitting in a white room with no window and no sunlight for 40 hours a week does to a person psychologically and physiologically? I feel like I'm part of some fucked up lab experiment on the effects of sensory deprivation. My office might be causing irreparable brain damage.

We call earthquakes 'pavement waves'. They're actually really cool as long as your house doesn't fall into some giant fault crack.

Oh, it's pure bliss! While I'm in the middle of a Sunday Night Football game at about 7PM, I often think of the poor school children in Delaware who are sadly missing out on watching Terrell Suggs rattling the brain of Mark Sanchez.