Next up for FC Santa Claus, a midweek friendly vs Manchester United.

I vote to move #12 down the list a few spots after last night.

If you smoke marijuana, Tony Stewart will kill you.

FIGHT ME.

Oh, fuck off.

1. Patton (expecially now that she's single)

It's actually him laughing at his own jokes. Olbermann is one of the greatest ventriloquists of our time.

He already made a film that was the perfect combination of Tough Guy Neeson and Prestige Neeson. It was Rob Roy.

How are you going to write an article on Liam Neeson being a badass the day after the Scotland vote and not talk about Rob Roy?

Story time!

Oh. You're crying because you're hungry? How about a knuckle sandwich?!

Davis is batting under .200 for most of this year. Yea he has a lot of homers but we'll survive.

How many NFL teams have cut players over domestic violence charges? There have been over 80 incidents since 2000.

Update: Mike Tyson Elected Mayor of Toronto

Fucking hell, Ray Rice, LeSean McCoy, Johnny Manziel, Jerry Jones ... all these other distractions are making it VERY, VERY HARD for me to be distracted by Michael Sam.

Attorney Does His Job: article from Deadspin full of hot and fresh hot takes coming soon.

Their earlier tweets are pretty corny and tone-deaf. But, to be fair, they say that delivery is 90% of comedy, and DiGiorno doesn't do delivery.

• You could probably guess what was on the tape, given that the other tape shows Ray Rice dragging his unconscious fiancée out into the casino lobby.

I'm sorry, but I have to wholeheartedly disagree with this article. I am supposed to stop supporting a team I grew up loving because the asshole higher ups made and a completely terrible decision? I have to choose between being a feminist and supporting a team whose fan ship is huge part of my identity? Of course Ray…

Finally, the first legitimate chance that Pissing Contest could win Pissing Contest.