Corgan's next album will be called "Squandering Any Remaining Goodwill"

Not everyone can play Wilmington, North Carolina.

The old switch on the kill the head vampire trope, is when you kill who think is the head vampire and surprise, it was actually someone else…which would be funny if that's where they're going with this.

I drown in wine every night, what's the big deal, can turtles not handle booze?

Why is it brutal? Is it a subpar merlot blend?

Actually it's a little known fact that a handful of subscribers already have a "choose your own adventure" option for HBO shows for the last twenty years.

^(syphilis+herpes)

They're all such brillant strategists, Bannon was playing two-dimensional Go Fish, while Trump is playing non-dimensional 52 Card Pickup.

Bannon is the drunk at the party who read a couple books, but his whole "brilliant strategy" basically boils down to:
1-Stir shit up!
2-?
3-Profit!

I'd recommend fire, and lots of it!

I picture him more in a Bib Fortuna role though…

It's actually a Star Wars teen sex comedy where some dorky teens leave their moisture farms and make the trek to Jabba's Palace to finally see some slave girls.

Wolfman In Mos Eisley Cantina: I'm Not There

Why is there a picture of Fleetwood Mac up there?

Stephen Miller had both and grew up in a liberal Jewish family and ended up being a racist turd. Sometimes people are just assholes.

It already was an official propaganda rag, so what's the difference? It makes Pravda circa 1952 look objective.

Protests don't pay the bills for you? Dude, you need to call up Soros, he'll hook you up! I'm buying a time-share in Cabo after the last round of protests.

Mean Girls of the SS

Family scion Chester T. Affliction III issued a one word statement that simply read, "Bro."

He's been sour on that one since Punchy from Hawaiian Punch criticized his travel ban.