"Looks like another homicide down at the Shakespeare Festival."

I knew a bunch of people who worked on this show in various regards, so hopefully Portland gets another TV show that can last a few more seasons with decent ratings. I mean a lot of folks got work as monster victims, what are they going to do now?

Yes, indeed.

Already got his number from Sam Giancana, thanks though!

They decided to let out Hinckley after Jodie Foster came out as a lesbian, he was like "Okay, I was really going down the wrong road on that one."

Shit.

Then they tried to pass off a Samoan as a villainous Japanese sumo wrestler in the 90s.

Uh, no Peg.
*Flushes toilet*

That'll be his catchphrase on the show, he'll say it every episode!

With Gilbert Gottfried in the Robert Davi role.

Some men want to watch the world burn…and others want to regurgitate Gordon Wood and talk about the pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization.

And now you know…the rest of the story.

Here's an even earlier clip of Rudd!

Chris Farley could pull off the role too.

Thanks Alexander Haig!

They let out a serial killer after only 20 years? Thanks Obama!

Deadly and adorable pillows.

A Cat's Purpose would just be a cynical as hell Werner Herzog film.

So the tour next year then.

You know who was a genius? The guy who invented those Chinese take-out boxes, that really changed everything.