“Tell that C. Delores Tucker slut to suck a dick”—Eminem

This is the sort of person who’s raised by “boys will be boys!” parents. 

Yeah that’s exactly what I thought, its always about money not going to the right places.

Someone is on deck for a SCOTUS nomination.

THIS is the shit I often miss about living in New York. The absolutely terrifying ability of a group of people to call someone out and tear a new one. It has its downsides, but man...it is effective. 

I feel like even if you explained to Trump that holding the RNC as planned in Charlotte could potentially decapitate the Republican party weeks before Election Day, as party leaders, elected officials, political consultants, hardcore supporters, etc. gather from around the country in a single location in tightly…

Get strong All Lives Matter vibes from this dude

I started feeling cynical about it when he began holding up crayon drawings of corporate sponsor logos.

And if Philando Castile had just followed the racist cop’s orders (you know, the SECRET orders that he only said inside his own head!), he might not have gotten murdered while following every SPOKEN order the racist murderer shouted in “fear”.

Yes, like my theory that VC Andrews never had actual sex. 

watching this seriously just ruined my day before it even started.

They have really gone batshit crazy now. Putting hands on a kid? What the hell? How many times has she been going to get the mail and nothing happened?

So it is proved once again that water is in fact wet.  Good to know.  

Funny thing. Some crazy bitch puts her hands on me, all my life I pop her in the eye. True story.

Solid comparison! The staff of a blog doing Fuck, Marry, Kill about celebrities is exactly the same as it happening in the workplace with supervisors keeping a running list of their subordinates...

Have you ever seen the thirsty men who go to work at hedge funds? They do this to completely overcompensate for their personality and neediness.

JFC...that statement hits hard

Actually, a lot of us felt sorry for Monica Lewinsky at the time. My anger was directed at Clinton’s stupidity of handing himself over to the right wing nuts and at Linda Tripp for pretending to be Lewinsky’s friend while she was busy selling her out. 

I think it would be a Barney Gumble hook it directly to my veins situation ahaha. If you can get a hold of it, try subbing a bit of butter for lard. I distinctly remember my parents trying to coax the secret of good bomboloni from every tuscan baker they could find, and eventually one admitted to the use of lard and…