Perhaps connected at the torso, with all of their limbs intact. A Spiderbaby, if you will. That's what Parks and Rec needs, a Spiderbaby.

I just hope they spend a little time dropping in on the toddlers to let us know how they're doing in their respective careers.

I am also an adult white male and my avatar is a real life picture of me.

Yeah I guess a get that. I didn't have a problem with it or anything, he was just jamming to music that he liked, just didn't make much sense to me why it was a milquetoast adult contemporary band from 1994.

One of my roommates in college would play his Hootie & the Blowfish album while getting ready for school at least once a week. This was also in the late '00s. He didn't have the best or most extensive taste in music, but still, I don't know what world these people grew up in.

He just got fired. I read about it yesterday. Sucks, his voice soothes me when I'm feeling all antsy about the shitty ads.

He's been playing for like 15 years, though.

Thanks for assuming I don't suffer from Dracula-Anus. Insensitive.

Oh, I'm just asking for pointers. I'd like to see my butthole at least twice daily.

How the hell are you guys catching glimpses of your own assholes all the time?

Excuse me sir, do you accept 15 year old Garbage Pail Kids cards at this fine establishment?

Don't hate the playa, hate the game. The game of wrapping a belt around your neck and tying a shoestring around your nutsack.

I'd buy a shitload of house and put some land right in the middle of it. Don't know why, just would.

There's skill involved if you decide to cheat, but then you have to live with yourself knowing that you've cheated in Candyland.

Nah, I'm just a fan of reading up on colloquialisms for jizz.

Franco's so full of himself he can't even pick up when his DP is flirting with him.

It still sounds less gross than "seed" to me.

Honestly, if he played it as Tim Riggins as a detective it'd probably work for me.

Bad boy James in Twin Peaks didn't smoke! And he was… a gigantic pussy.

Zed's head, baby. Zed's head.