they weren’t face to face for long at all.

I’m super excited that all of these morons will one day have children of their own. They’ll make amazing parents.

!!exclamation points!!

hes very openly an asshole at the very least

Cold take: Wall is openly dumb. He didn’t know what quotations were called and called them “exclamation points”.

Hot take: John Wall is secretly butt.

You expose people to corpses day in and day out for routine tasks and exams for years, but expect them to be completely reverential toward them? These aren’t sociopaths-in-training (or no more than anyone else is), they’re college kids whose strange environment has become a part of their identity.

Hanging the whole game on him not playing is a bit much. Missed FG, extra point, Brady not making that catch, Eagles gambling and winning. MAYBE he makes a crucial stop, but to say definitively NE wins with Butler is ridiculous

There is always at least one player who makes the escort/ hooker mistake. Just spitballing here.

This is the dumbest thing I’ve read today

Did Bettis get three yards on that carry? Which I believe is one more than his career average.

I want to turn Ray Lewis canton speech into a drinking game. Ray says“Jesus” drink. “God” drink. “Fake Crying” drink. Every time Ray crowbars an “I” statement, Drink. If he ascends to heaven on a beam of light, Chug.

I hope Ray brings two suits to the ceremony.

I also hope that I am well thought of in my home town even after I help murder someone and destroy evidence. For all my faults- like that time I helped murder someone and destroy evidence- I feel like I have contributed a lot of positive speeches and tackles.

It just kills you, doesn’t it?

Jesus Christ, just thinking about how Ray Lewis is going to bloviate, pontificate, and generally make a giant ass of himself in his speech is going to keep Deadspin rolling in takes for weeks. Can’t wait.

US legal tender is (supposed) to be backed by physical things (Gold/Silver and other precious metals).

Its backed by libertarian ideals and stolen electricity.

“It was a currency backed by nothing”

I remember when, instead of chyrons, they had guys run out on the field and hold signs with the latest stats in front of the quarterback. And instead of out of town score graphics on the bottom of the screen, they had donkeys with the scores painted on them run along the sidelines.