Remember, whether he pelican or pelican’t, you’re right.

Now they have both Emeka and Jahlil and have cornered the market on Okafors, so, uh, good luck with that

Always body fat percentage truthers.

So is that all the pizza/chicken/burger grease seeping out of his body in the second picture? I don’t know how dieting works. 

That before/after photo looks like the results of a classic instagram workout. Half an hour on weights; half an hour on oil, mist and lighting.

He wins football games. I’m sure Paterno would still have a job at Penn State if he hadn’t died. Saban could probably be found with a human leg chilling in his freezer that he’s saving for a special dinner and probably still coach Alabama through his murder trial (and probably be acquitted by a jury full of Tide fans).

Yes, I agree, Kevin Love’s contract extension is truly a threat to America. WHY CAN’T EVERYONE ELSE SEE IT?!?!?!?!?

Is it just me? I don’t see any “interest” in those texts. Just a coach talking to a player, and avoiding the subject about signing him...

Eh, Give Khabib a few years.. he’ll be homeless too.  

Best final stage? American Gladiators (original) or GTFO. Just an endless barrage of semi-fit people getting mutilated by the best of 1980's roid rage.

No mention of the Aggro Crag OR Legends of the Hidden Temple?!?!?!  Get bent buddy.

Did you read the article?

Okay fine, 2 years

*Form Level and tactic style results may vary based on skin color. 

I am obsessed with this name Devlin. It’s like someone took Devin and decided it wasn’t fratty enough and added a lil L to up the douche factor.

Some kinda vidya game person.  Back in my day, twitch streamers was what we called jumpy kids at the urinal.

Jesus Christ, can we just throw EVERYONE involved in that screencap into the deepest part of the ocean?

For the uninitiated,swatting is a harassment tactic low level form of attempted murder by cop. 

I think Barstool being at fault for someones death is a headline we see in the next 5-10 months.

Here is a baffling statement, issued by a man known as “Tennessee Jeff,” who seems to be the leader and organizer of this sad farce: