His tights were pilling.

I just tell people we don’t want to risk having another child removed by the state. The look on their face is delightful.

Fergie is further proof that we get the face we deserve.

Your friend is wrong. Pigs are considerably smarter than dogs, more trainable, and can develop strong emotional relationships with humans. I would question your friend’s need to downplay pigs’ intelligence. Perhaps it’s a defense mechanism of some sort.

Get back to us when you slit the throat of a hog you raised. You might not feel quite so detached as you butcher it.