WHAT SICK MOTHERFUCKER EATS BLACK JELLY BEANS?

Did Monsieur Mallah ever get turned into a tasteful reproduction coffee table by Herman Miller?

Ellie Kemper as the next generation of incredibly shitty parents

Found the clergyman...

(The weird little detail I’m hoping makes it to the screen in some way is how even animals could be tried and convicted of murder, including that one horse that is on record as being hung in absentia after its owner helped it escape.)

“En Gaaaaaaaaaaaahd...”

“IS THAT A HUFFY? THAT’S A NICE BIKE.”

And Howard Stern asking “Are those real?” and Catherine cupping them through her top, no bra, jiggling them and saying “Yup!”

Are you sayin’ it was a JAG-off?

You know, the evidence of you being Chinese is really stacking up. 

No, he’s not. He’s a creepy neckbeard that white, Orientalist nerds love because they fetishise the Japanese. Complexity for complexity’s sake isn’t good writing.

I know; neckbeards can’t generate their own cultural capital and so can only steal the capital of others - it’s why nerd culture is so reliant on conspicuous consumption. 

Let’s see: two high priests of neckbeardery writing books about pop culture? You can’t see the link?

Never read it, but I’m getting massive butthurt nerd vibes from your attempt at Barsanti-grade snark. Don’t mistake me for the people you hang out with.

Good heavens, man. The poor woman doesn’t need to be put through that. 

DISCO INFERNO.

It’s because his parents were clearly gangsters in the original. Or at least gangster-adjacent. 

Absolutely agree, although that wasn’t a Driving Instructor in the DB5 in Goldeneye; she was a shrink sent to evaluate Bond.

So, like a Ready Player One, but non-fictiony?

For me the best Bond girls are memorable because they are integral the story. The Craig Bonds don’t have that.