You’re missing the point: Bond was bending the knee to the movies it inspired - Bourne and Austin Powers.

Overall, I’m afraid I’m going to have rate the whole Craig era a failure:

But what about his birdsuit?

Matt Smith is the lead in a massively-budgeted spinoff of a series that generated billions in revenue and remains the most-viewed TV series of all time. His character is a rogueish antihero who is neither evil nor good, so I’m sure he’s having fun as an actor.

The Villa Straylight Stories.

I like how that top photo covers all the ethnicities: black, white, Asian, Hispanic, and Ranga.

Where’s that leave this guy?

THE EXPLAIN HOW THE FIRST BOND ENDED UP IN ALCATRAZ, SMARTARSE.

I mean, we know Bond’s a codename, because the first one ended up in Alcatraz under a false name.

That’s what my parole officer says.

And being beautiful when you’re a young white woman almost guarantees you’ll be able to move up to a class that allows for a luxurious middle age.

I think the saddest thing about the Craig Bonds is bending to the other franchises that were riding on Bond’s coattails - Austin Powers and Bourne.

Ah, Lifetime: home of the My Perfect Rich, Handsome Firefighter-Surgeon Husband Is Actually A Brutal Enforcer Working For A Mexican Drug Cartel Who Will Kill Me To Keep His Secret, And, Worse, Actually Has Another Family In The Next Town Over And That Wife Is Blonde, The Bitch.

From her wiki bio:

Daniel Craig needs to go to Marvel for a role. ION Productions can license Bond to Marvel, too, even if they recast.

NSNA isn’t the best Bond film, but it’s definitely the best Bond parody.

Also, pretending Madonna was British!

MRS HUGHES: “Our son should have gone to medical school! But, no, you insisted he ‘follow his dreams’! Filled his head with that do-what-you-love crap!”