Yeah he’s mostly harmless. It was his first big relationship (he was 21 and I was 25 when we got together) and both his brothers got married recently so I forgive him for a lot of his crazy. And Last Podcast is so fucking hilarious, I feel awful but I’m laughing constantly. I’m a big Murderino and was drunk commenting…

I live in DC and the first Nazi salutes I saw started on election night. Neo Nazis have been out in force since then, a kid I know got arrested for a hate crime with his group of skinhead buddies two weeks ago. They’re coming for us and it’s scary. 

Yeah he does this, showing up at concerts he knows I will go to. And I can’t even get that mad because I was the one who broke his heart, but it’s been a year and he’s just depressing me: it is awful to have to constantly turn down someone you care about. He tried to make me dance with him during the encore and I had…

Especially considering the pride we so recently had for our president, DC as a whole and the liberal burbs are taking this hard. The mood of the whole town has darkened since November and since my lease is up in April there is no better time for me to make a big change.

This really isn’t a bad idea at all.

I’ve gained a great deal of anxiety and a booze problem and lost my zest for life.

Too late, I went to a concert and HE SHOWED UP and followed me around til I left. Now I’m drinking and Jezzing hard at a different bar.

Literally as I’m reading this comment the first text from my ex in months just arrived. Thank you for keeping me honest.

Cute? Nah, she’s CHOICE.

Chris Kattan is the WORST. He did a standup set at the venue where I work (the other acts were Tim Meadows who was fine and Jon Lovitz who was hysterical) and the entire set, I kid you not, was “Remember when I was Mango?” *does not do a Mango impression* “Remember when I was the Night at the Roxbury?” *does not do a…

I’m so tickled that she might have a black daughter in law!

Yeah I said upthread I think it’s probably a nickname or something, my dad used to call me Brown Eyed Girl after the song and I didn’t think twice about what Horowitz said.

I’m thinking maybe it’s an injoke, like my dad used to call me Brown Eyed Girl after the song?

Haha I’ll allow it.

I’ll never not think bone-obos and giggle.

That used to be our lives all the time. Sad!

It’s the eyes.

When my friends and I were kids whenever they saw a sign that said “Speed hump” we would all yell out “The Olympic Event!” Our parents were very patient people.

No lie, this quote was my “religious views” on Facebook for years.

Haha I laughed out loud and scared my dog