For real. Also, are there zero women in the SNL writer’s room at this point? How did that joke make it to air?

Ariana Grande deserves so much better. Like maybe a woman for a change.

Pete Davidson joked about replacing Ari’s BC with Tic Tacs or something, she told him to shut up.

Sure. The money is definitely better going to Paul Allen. He needs it much more than the guy putting his health on the line on the field.

My mom’s office had a UPS driver who was a sarcastic pain in the ass. One day she couldn’t find a seat at a popular fried chicken restaurant during a busy lunch hour. The UPS driver was there and offered to let her sit at his table with him, promising not to talk to her. Luckily they did talk, and they’ve been married…

I’ve been not fat, I’ve been fat, I’ve been all over the ED spectrum. I’ve never been treated with the amount of incredulity, dismissal and disrespect as I was when I was fat. The actually serious medical problems I had were chalked up to my weight over and over, and I was sent home without any further investigation.…

NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE! I know she must be lying about something, but I can’t even pinpoint where the lie could be to make any sense of this

Amber Guyger told authorities that she issued verbal commands that Botham Jean “ignored” just prior to her shooting him to death in his own apartment.

Undefeated! I’ll take it!

Are you a sociopath?

That is some excellent cheater logic right there.

But I love my wife emotionally,

“if my wife found out, which she won’t” lol

You started an affair with a 17-year old when you were 24? 

But...what can I say, we really like fucking each other?

She should have slapped the shit out of that official, I applaud her restraint.

She’s one of the most unfairly criticized, and mistreated athletes in her profession. What you call “worship” others call balancing the scale to the poor treatment she often receives

I hope someone puts together a highlight reel of all the coaching this guy’s ignored and all the obscenities he’s ignored from male players. The violation for coaching was chickenshit at best, and that game penalty was fucking absurd.

Thank you for proving every stereotype to be true, you joyless piece of trash.

Mmm. That’s good kinja.