There ain't no Slenderman, kid. There never was. The name's Frrrraaaaaaank Foooooontaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiine.

Would it be too much to say "God I hope so"?

Vectron?

Escape From New York?

That sounds…about as "good".

Speak for yourself.

To be fair, all you'd find inside were lisping stereotypes and probably transphobia.

I WON'T ALLOW IT!

This week, Farmer John's Corner teaches you how to feed oil to a hungry eldritch abomination.

He finds out Padme's booked their honeymoon vacation at Miami Beach, where the sands are—Anakin? Anakin, what are you doing!?

I've read this smutty fanfic.

A friend of mine pointed it out a few years back and I've thought about it ever since whenever I go into the Fiction section.

I was just paining myself trying to come up with a comment in Sebald Code when this article was first posted.

Especially the frequent times that "Lemony Snicket" gets really, really sick of the director's shit.

I asked my mom "What was that noise?" so often as a kid and she never, ever replied "Nothing". Either she genuinely had no idea what was going on or I got robbed of a membership to Fire Fighter Illuminati.

God knows we need more books about grown academics contemplating adultery.

God, talk about a callback.

"Pablo! Por quuuuuuuueeeeeeeeee!!!???"

Hey, Evil Dead: Regeneration for the PS2 and Xbox set precedent.

Probably, honestly. She seemed more savvy with magic folk than essentially anything else outside of the house - including just reflexively reading people's minds. She was kind of a social maladjust.