Love how this site has lost so many staffers that a huge chunk of the “staffers” contributing to this roast aren’t even current members of staff.

Now that Andrew is leaving I’m 1 Torchinsky and 1 Tracy away from never visiting this site again

Will the last blogger out the door turn off the lights?

Woah woah woah. What are you getting at? I’ve been kicked out of a Lululemon before for too aggressively handling the yoga pants on display. I’m qualified to judge here.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, etc.

It’s like a sedan but more practical without the drawbacks of a crossover. Not a deep concept.

I say this as a diehard manual owner (up until about six months ago, we hadn’t had an automatic in years, and it was actually a Mercedes): While the death of any three-pedal manual is sad, I can’t help but think, “Whatever.”

As a long-time reader of Jalopnik, well over 10 years, and a loyal fan to a fault, it pains me to say this but the fact of the matter is...Jalopnik is no longer viewed as a media entity worth responding to by Tesla or any other major manufacturer. It surprises me that so many articles here point out that “I’ve reached…

“Upon an audit of your account, it was determined that you did not pay for the roof option, so through an over-the-air update, it has been removed.”

They did find out and ran a software update “over the air”.  HA!!!!

Once Tesla hears that you didn’t pay for the optional convertible package, you’ll be getting a bill in the mail.  

“Daddy, the top came off...”

Here and I thought factory installed accessories like a roof didn’t get removed until after the second buyer takes delivery of a Tesla.

“You guys are always complaining about panel gaps; this was the easiest solution.”

Sorry, what?

Agreed, it’s got “fuck it, I’m done” written all over it.

This is a ‘I can’t get this heap of shite to work properly’ sale isn’t it.

“You are without question the worst husband in the history of human mating.”

“I bought a Volkswagen Tiguan.. for my wife.” You are without question the worst husband in the history of human mating.