[indistinct Southern mumbling]PORK GRAVY[indistinct Southern mumbling]

This comment section? He might still drop in.

He thought the dick-monsters were on his side?

And they had to change the snark filter.

If it were a tabloid, they'd be FOR Trump.

They're working harder than ever to bring us the latest and best in pop culture news!

He means he'll be introducing huge new subsidies for American Spirit Cigarettes.

Or something.

At least he's not blowing smoke up OUR asses.

But that's none of my business.

Ana, nab a banana.

The reason for your popularity is as plain as the nose on your face.

Don't worry, I understand a Sanrio walrus is on the short list.

The Welfare State for red pandas is already bloated and inefficient and should be privatized.

How about nit-picking porn? It's niche, I admit, but if you're into that…

Funny, it's your nose that's starting to turn red.

I've got a lot of problems with the internal reality of this Japanese cartoon for children, and by god, the internet's gonna hear about all of them!

Norm remembers…

Last I checked, internet commenting is not doing nothing, thank you very much. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a new bag of Cheetos I need to open.

Make him!