And this is different from Tracy’s everyday Jeep start routine how? 

Oh, this is all sad and heartbreaking, but if I die next to my silicon doll suddenly I am a loser and a freak.

They NEVER worked as well as they did in the ads. It was damned near impossible to keep the cars on the track.

They are spending tons trying to get me to re-up after the trial ended 5.5 years ago.

New car owners who get 6 months free and forget to cancel.

Houston’s is a good restaurant chain and they never should have gotten into sports radio (stupid idea, very dumb). If they go back to doing what made them famous (food) and put the petty squadgoals behind, they can reclaim their title as the best expensive chain restaurant.

Like in a skyscraper full of terrorists, without his shoes?

John McClain with the best reaction to this shit. And please, Innes, PLEASE keep acting like you’re gonna get tough in the face of an ex-NFL player. PLEASE talk your way into an ass-kicking.

I don’t even smoke pot and I would choose drugs over this guy. Offering a marriage proposal with strings attached? Deal with that shit before you propose.

She probably didn’t talk to Captain Buzzkill about it because she didn’t want to get lectured for the upteenth time by her controlling boyfriend. Just a ~wild guess~

Hello Patrick,

Just... wow. So much is wrong about that relationship. My advice for NSHG’s girlfriend would be to ghost him. He’ll probably over-react and become even more controlling, she’ll see him for what he really is, and realize she dodged a bullet.

or I Fought the Weed and the Weed Won.

Reading through this, all I could think was “now I want an Energy Polarizer”

There’s one left on eBay right now, unfortunately I spent this month’s discretionary fund on a flamethrower...

This is basically exactly how many audiophile miracle improvement products work. In fact, based on the wording of the “explanations”, I’d be shocked if this guy wasn’t also into, or at least aware of, high-end audio tweaks.

Facts. Laws. Science. The list of things that don’t matter anymore keeps getting longer.

People are so goddamn stupid.