What the hell IS Amway? I see commercials for them or whatever but have no clue what they do.

I'm pretty sure that's actually just the Room of Requirement.

She sounds like a foreign person who doesn't speak English and is just trying to mimic the sounds in a popular song.

I work in a mall. In the past ten years it has almost doubled in size, adding fancier stores like Coach and True Religion, and adding a ton of nicer chain restaurants. Then again I live right across the border from Canada and I'd say over 50% of the people who shop in the mall are Canadians. So my experience is…

But how can they absolutely prove you were drunk without knowing your BAC?

I thought that when you get a DUI if you refuse a breathalyzer, they'll cuff you and take you to the station and make you take one? How does anyone get a DUI then, if they can just be like, NO THANKS TOTES SOBER.

We also don't need to go to the gym today, or need to put on shoes, or need to shut all the doors on the kitchen cabinets because OMG if you don't it's really a pet peeve of mine. It's a phrase.

I mean, if you are grinding your ass against a guy's dick, he's probably going to get hard. I don't think it's something a man can help. I'm not interested in having a guy's dick poke me though his jeans, so I do not grind my body into his.

It was easy to miss :)

This doesn't sit well with me. I think that they are TRYING to do a good thing for both the dogs and the people, but it just doesn't seem like it will be too beneficial. Dogs that aren't ready for adoption need someone who knows what they are doing to foster them, someone who understands the behavior of dogs and can…

None of the people are homeless. They have to have a permanent place to live.

That quote immediately made me think she was a drug addict. YEAH I DEFINITELY DON'T DO DRUGS. WHAT'S THAT? NO ONE ASKED?

I do not want to see a comment suggesting that Jezebel readers should be raped with machetes. Anywhere, at any time. I don't care if no one responds to it, I can still see it. That's ridiculous.

Wow, that is insane. How would she know they were your keys/where you lived? Stay safe and try to get some rest and not be too anxious.

No. You shouldn't even go. Those people clearly only care about themselves, or they are delusional. It's not worth putting yourself through that. If they ask why, you can tell them that you don't appreciate the way your cousin treats people (including yourself).

Hm, wouldn't he just swap it, leave the apple juice outside, and then go back to being hungry? It still doesn't really make sense. Really awkward sentence/ idea that is not explained well enough.

I'm gonna pierce my baby's belly button, as soon as the umbilical cord shrivels up and falls off or whatever.

This is so perfect. Owl City sounds like a robot created to make annoying poppy music.

A metal circle or something I use every day and depend on for work and school and has all of my contact information and banking information... tough choice.

This was my immediate thought!!