“Freezing is a third fear response recognized in the field of psychology but, for some reason, missing from public discourse. Someone tries to put a hand on me; I’m uncomfortable, but I can’t move or speak. “No” is not clear.” http://ladyclever.com/culture/freezi…

Just wrestle naked in mudd with a bunch rabid racoons!

Aquaphor is the shit.

but its certifiably organic, right??

I think we watched the same special. The doctor was wriggling his hands, clasped and covered in blood while he pulled out an “appendix” without a single surgical cut. When I read this story about Sheen’s doctor injecting himself with Charlie’s blood, the slight of hand trick from the other doctor came front and center…

Exactly, it is just what siblings do. We had one of ours convinced that the garbage man left her on the doorstep.

I thought this was common sense, too. What kind of goddamn filthy animal just chomps down on it? The same kind that allows food to touch on their plate, that’s who.

My older sister tried to convince me that there had been another sibling, but she (I believe it was another sister) crawled under the bed one day and never came back out. I was just too young at the time to remember when she was around.

You shut your mouth. Garlic in everything.

I would like to take this moment to remember the best restaurant review of all time.

Question: do you have siblings? I am the youngest of three (two older brothers) and I’m pretty sure I heard/felt this from them until about age 25. I don’t think it’s that uncommon...especially between siblings of different sexes.

They were both highly douchey.

I feel like Sean Penn is trying to be his own version of Hemmingway AND Hunter S. Thompson. I’d like to think he’s failing miserably because it would suck if they were this douchey back in the day.

I love Bruno Kirby, but he’s probably not white enough to be cast as a Latino.

He basically made the exact same face I make when someone bumps into me and doesn’t say sorry: 75% surprise, 25% HEY FUCK YOU BUDDY.

You know it’s bad when Alan “I tell all the inappropriate jokes” Cumming is distressed.

Daniel Day Lewis over Tom Cruise any day. They shouldn’t even be in the same sentence.

The acceptance speech will be pretty great, but unfortunately they’ll start playing the “get off the stage” music after only 3 people have been mauled.

That seems to be the Academies M.O.: snub an actor for a brilliant performance, wait a few years, try to rectify the mistake by giving them an Oscar for an ok performance that isn’t the best out of the current nominees, thereby snubbing someone else more deserving, wait a few years, rectify THAT mistake by giving them…

No, he deserved an Oscar for both “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?” and “The Aviator”. If (*coughs*when*coughs*) he wins for the Revenant, I’ll treat this like I treated Denzel Washington’s win for “Training Day”... I’ll pretend he won for one of his better performances (in Denzel’s case, “Malcolm X”).