Ah, fuck it:

So, the A.V. Club's official preference for best performance from a male lead of the entire year…is Bradley Cooper in American Sniper. I could write a sonnet about how much I disagree with that.

I don't know why I know that, I took four years of Spanish!

"Turns power naps into horror naps."

Well, not exactly, but it's the point when both of them settle into those patterns as habits.

I defend Sweeny Todd. I hold it as both the first iteration of the "Burton adapts something and makes it dark and weird" formula, and the first iteration of the "Depp plays a pale outcast in a Burton movie" formula, and is consequently the only really good example of either.

He had surgery a while after the superbowl to remove throat polyps; his voice sounds way better now.

Well, for the first two, there's a nice contrast between Lemongrab, who, while immature, is still something resembling an adult, so in his mirrors he sees things connected to horrible scars in his past, and Finn, who just sees things he's immediately concerned about. Lemongrab desires a parent figure, Finn desires to…

A YouTuber I like took a simpler view of the mirrors: The far left is desire, the center is fear, and the far right regret.

It took you this long? I stopped thinking critically about Archer about five minutes into the first episode. My body now processes it in a similar manner to sugar: "This is a good thing, give me more."

Yeah, this was great. I'd give it an A- because it wasn't quite as emotionally resonant as I had hoped it would be given the premise, but it was still a fascinating expansion on an underrated character, and Finn, too.

Have you been reading my Major Monogram/Dr. Doofenshmirtz slash fic?

Funny, I got into it when I was fifteen. It was like a forty year old recording of someone narrating my own turbulent thoughts and feelings; it made me want to be a songwriter, and be able to connect with people on that incredible level, even if I never saw them.

You're seriously over-thinking it, internet!

I think my candidate for "Best Album Ever" is probably Astral Weeks, even though my personal favorites are Quadrophenia and In The Aeroplane Over The Sea.
But Arthur (Or The Decline And Fall Of The British Empire) needs to be brought into this discussion, so I'll nominate that.

I'm a romantic, so I'm going with he could actually fly.

You want episodes focused on Jake? How about Sad Face, Furniture and Meat, Ocarina Joshua and Margret Investigations, Ghost Fly, Everything's Jake, Is That You, and Jake The Brick. You want episodes focused on characters besides the treehouse duo? Try The Prince Who Wanted Everything, Something Big, Little Brother,…

Is the country of ice cream ruled by the Emperor Of Ice Cream?
Ah, who am I kidding. Everybody knows the only emperor is the Emperor Of Ice Cream.

Or, in Grammy-speak, "Best weird hipster shit we don't really care about but are acknowledging so people don't get too mad at us."

Yeah, because good people never have bad parents. Nobleness is a genetic trait that is always passed down, so if your parents don't have it, you sure as shit aren't getting it.