The contest's for regular crawlin, not for fancy crawlin'.

Hey! I'm from South Dakota, and there's no accent. Now, get off your Davenport, help me make a hotdish for the potluck, and don't forget the pop.

I see the Commissioner is really celebrating the start of the second season of The Strain.

I bet Tom thinks aardvarks grow up to be elephants.

Using this math, Brady will be eligible to play six minutes into the second half of the Pats' second game.

Tank controls for life!

So that's what Ron Gardenhire's up to now. Suppose he might as well spend his slow time a little closer to the North Pole anyway.

Josh Robinson is definitely not a fan of this.

My favorite part about all these tweets is how well Bomani's able to type, considering he's filming HQ in Miami and he left his phone in Bristol.

After hearing this shovel, I just don't think I'll be able to listen to plastic shovels ever again.

Yes, yes, yes, but seriously, that dunk on Hakeem? Yowza.

Looking at how he treated her, Candace Buckner must remind Larry of his first daughter.

Luke Get-rid-in-an-hour

Who in the world is Woolly Mays?

Yikes. I hope Josh doesn't find out that my dog and cat not only live together, but sleep in the same bed.

The Cardinals have been tracking this kid since his first ultrasound.

I can't bring myself to watch the two new Joe movies. I just can't.

Hasbro, I just dare you to do this with GI Joe.

Still too soon.

No love for Gonzalo?