“I did not see that coming.”

I only buy cars built without seatbelts, because when the belt is present, I just can’t stop myself from running into other vehicles!

You know, if we start putting lifeboats on ships, captains are going to start thinking it’s OK to start ramming them at partially submerged rocks.

I prefer the graphic of a person running away:

The ranch dressing on the side somehow helps with the concept of this picture.

As someone who is a shade darker than albino this made me laugh so loud it scared my cat.

The overwhelming whiteness is like “WHOA!”

From their perspective, his story, some guy with a gun suddenly appeared and was mugging them.

Even if he had clearly and correctly heard them saying “did you get anything?” he was not right to draw on them.

If you are in your car late at night and some lunatic points a handgun at you and says don’t move are you going to hang around? I’m going to punch it. I’m not going to try and hit the guy because I want to get the hell out of there.

There is no allegation that the players trespassed. Even in the homeowner’s account, they were parked on the street. At which point he pointed his gun at them. The homeowner is entirely in the wrong here, even if the kids tried to run him over (which they had every right to do at that point).

What the fuck is wrong with people? This man needs to be arrested, it isn’t 1880s Wild Wild West. And it isn’t Pokemon Go’s fault - they could have easily been making a phone call, looking at Google Maps because they were lost, or even pulled over to take a quick nap because they were on a road trip and decided to not…

if they were parked in the street then that is not his property, the road is public property and they have the right to park there if they want.

So he shot at people who just happened to be parked in front of his house.... So why should people have guns again? They weren’t even on his property and he started open firing at people. Funny how two people were together, they were parked, they weren’t playing while driving, they were aware of their surroundings,…

The adventures of Florida Man continues!

“Florida Man feeds pet alligator pizza. Florida Man drives car into McDonald’s for a burger. Florida Man robs liquor store with chicken leg.”

I hear the real secret is large amounts of crack

I dislike these questions, because there’s no real secret. Having a genuine enthusiasm for whatever it is you do, learning to prioritize so you don’t work on 20 different things at once, and then handing that shit off to focus on something else if necessary.

I think the broader point is that sports memoirs can really only adhere to two distinct narratives: 1) Life is perfect! 2) I was horrifically abused. Nobody wants to hear about the middle.

HBO had a great segment on this during Real Sports. Her sister was a champion high school gymnast in Illinois. Without legs.