@Paul Pierced Luol's Deng: Refusing a test is an automatic one-year suspension of your license in Pennsylvania.

This is what happens when you go to Council Rock.

@Ben Lutter: They reverse the two letters. It's not white, it's hwite. I think they did that to confuse those who wanted to integrate the schools. "Sorry, this is actually a hwite school, not a white school. You'll have to bus them boys somewhere else."

@MattinglysSideburns: But it is Sports.

This one time, my and my friends drank all this beer on spring break and we banged these chicks. It was unbelievable.

@StuScott Booyahs: Oh, I thought they only did that on South Street or the Gallery Mall?

@RenRen: How can it be the worst and pretty darn good at the same time?

Cocaine is ______

Here's my personal moronic investing story: I bought 400 shares of Akamai stock in 2003 at about $3 per share. I sold it at around $11/share, thinking I was a brilliant investor, and invested in a penny stock I had heard about, which promptly tanked and took all of my earnings with it. Fast forward a few years later…

@2 replies: Hell, I remember around 2003 or so, it was about $14. I wanted to invest then but didn't have any money at the time.

Funny, it's the same exact e-mail Will sent to Roger Ebert.

@NordoftheBlings: +1 I see what you did there.

@hector villanueva's posse: and three kinds of beef jerky!

The climax will be the Jamaican carrying his dog sled himself after he crashes just yards from the finish line. Sarah Palin will start the slow clap.

"Dave Matthews"? Oh fuck, shoot me now.

@Steve U: you forgot the part where he voted for the same exact thing a few years ago without question when there was a Republican in office. But yes, other than that, you're spot on!

@ClintonPortishead: And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.

@kb: Um, I use it at my job. I'm sure a lot of people do. In fact, we use Outlook 2003. I have to send large files to co-workers and it's a pain trying to work around size limits.

There is no such thing as a smoking hot girl in a band room.

@IllustriousNeckbeard: 18-22 year old "boys and girls" is not the same as 5-12 year old boys and girls.