Joni Mitchell has delusional parasitosis. Stop flattering her with this Morgellons nonsense.

I love me some Joni, but Morgellon's is not a thing. There has been study after study (even a congressional hearing on the matter) confirming that there is ZERO evidence that it exists. If anything, it is a delusion that fibers are growing out of your skin. Shame on yourshitty journalism, New York Magazine.

This is kind of depressing. It always makes me cringe when less attractive people or just straight up ugly people have these crushes on attractive people and they act this way. You know it's not ever going to happen. You might as well just act normal. And I say this as someone whose features just aren't pleasing to…

One time my friend, who worked for her dad but also other places said "Mark, I have a crush on my boss and I don't know what to do."

...after being dipped in a vat of smegma.

This heah, is a double dawg. It was invented, I do believe, in South Carolina, and it features a (non-photoshopped) bun with two cuts at the top. That KFC monstrosity doesn't even deserve to have the word "double" in its name.

Lifehacker Flame Wars: Mugs vs. Bowls Edition
with special guest appearance by sporks

Mugs rule, bowls drool!

I read something about this school a year or two ago (really don't remember) but at the time it wasn't known how extensive the burials were. It's very sad, also fascinating though from a forensic/anthropology view... I've read most of Kathy Reichs' books (Bones is based on them), as well as a few other books on…

Tampa Bay Times did an in-depth feature on Dozier and Kimmerle, definitely recommended: http://www.tampabay.com/topics/special…

It always makes me tear up when I hear of people abusing the children or adults that are entrusted to their care.

Good brother!

I will take this opportunity to say that there's absolutely nothing wrong with pruning the friend tree as needed.
Folks need to realize that there are people you genuinely want in your life, who you want to share things with, and who you want to help out in the shitty times. And then there are lots of spare parts.…

Look, if you want an animal that can't claw you or your belongings, don't get a fucking cat. Even the best behaved cats may claw on furniture occasionally and cats very rarely claw a person without reason.

if they are excessively needy they are not your friends, they are parasites.

And, this is why, when in doubt, always skip town with the crown and hold it for ransom. Pageant officials seem to value that more than the contestants.

Same. And we only had one uniform, and were supposed to return for our next shift with it clean, of course. Getting home exhausted, covered in foul fast food detriment, and still stinking of nacho cheeselike substance at 3am, I would have to launder that one polyester nightmare I owned so I could turn around and wear…

If Chaz doesn't have the decency to tell THE TRUTH about his floor-shitting incident by midnight tonight, I will have no choice but to publish personal information about him so we can all get to the bottom of this.

Because it's such incredibly common practice in the industry that you have to really think you have a case to pursue legal action against an employer. Business owners get sued, but rarely do servers sue former employers, because servers are generally poor as hell.

The concept that the customer is The Enemy always makes me surprised but not surprised. Customers are the worst, and I have endured everything from being flashed by them to having them actually throw things at me. But also you can't have a restaurant without them, and most are fine. Some are even great. So I never…