“Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.”- JR Smith’s agent.

Because his denial was ridiculous. Had he just said he fucked up to begin with it would have been over much quicker.

JR Smith is the best person for this to happen to, since it won’t shake his confidence at all. He is still going to take 30 3s in game 2, maybe he will score 0 points, maybe 90; either way it won’t affect him.

At least he’ll have a job in this administration once it’s all over.

If you don’t love me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best.

“I’m hiring you as my economic advisor!” - Trump

A human head shouldn’t have a six pack.

I don’t think it takes over from Webber. Webber’s was the final game, period, of the NCAA season. JR certainly has more chances to fuck everything up because the play didn’t decide the Finals in its entirety, just Game 1.

McGee’s is more of a physical miscue, while Smith’s was purely mental. Physical mistakes seem to be more forgivable—or at least more forgiven (Bill Buckner notwithstanding). I think Smith’s mistake take the title from Chris Webber’s timeout as the most significant mental error in basketball history and, given the…

Here is an exclusive image of what was procured:

I always heard steroids make your head grow and looking at Peyton’s normal-sized, average skull, I’d say he’s got nothing to worry about.

Meanwhile Eli Manning’s lawsuit against Minute Maid for their juice boxes being too hard to open goes tragically unreported on.

Why do lawyers insist on using those black highlighters?

Also, if the series goes the full allotment of games, the teams will have to play 7 games total over two weeks, i.e., 3.5 games per week. How the fuck do you play a half game?

Our once beautiful schools don’t even teach math anymore! SAD!

One of the things that makes LeBron James awesome is that, when he makes a basket, his baskets are worth two - and sometimes even three! - points. Your analysis fails to take this unique feature of James’ game into account.

LRW (LeBron Reaction When) Javale and Swaggy P are in the series and the dumbest player in the Finals is still on your team

In that moment, LeBron fully transformed into “Dad watching their kid finally get a hit, then start running towards 3rd base” The perfect blend of horror, anger, and sadness.

It’s helpful to talk about a topic that’s typically stigmatized and not discussed enough.