omg really? Is that during Festival of Lights? That might actually be inducement for me to go during Festival of Lights, if so.

I so sympathize with you right now—I've been in two wedding parties that were, for various reasons, different shades of nightmare and it really sucks when you don't get the help you need from others in the support network, or when the bride is freaking out.

She's a fucking national treasure.

Amen sister friend. Sounds like her registry will be what it will be at this point, then. Unless a family matriarch calls her up about it—which might happen, especially if you're co-hosting the shower with some of her family. My aunt-in-law who threw my second shower called me because she'd gotten calls from several…

This is like so, so late to the conversation but I just wanted to first say (a) I'm so, so sorry about your Mom, and (b) that while I don't have any lived experience to share, you might find some of the incredibly thoughtful essays in "The Hard Stuff" section of "A Practical Wedding" helpful. There's several pages of…

Yeah, agreed. We didn't do one, but I know that the folks who wanted to buy us something tangible would not have contributed to the honeymoon fund, they just would have gone out and bought us random things from a store (which still happened, even with a moderately sized registry). Most of those folks were either older…

Oh man, at least the goblets can be functional? I'm talking decorative bowls and baskets and candlestick holders. The three-tiered dessert tray I *can* see using a few years down the road, but I can also see it shattering into a million pieces on our next move.

Yes, most people give two gifts if they're invited to the shower (a good rule of thumb is somewhere around half of what you'd spend on the wedding gift, but use your discretion according to your finances—$35-50 works just fine!).

You're lucky—we tried to register minimally, and I got a call from my now aunt-in-law asking me to please register for more things because she'd received a bunch of phone calls from guests saying there was nothing left on my registry. (For the record there WAS plenty of stuff left, but everyone wanted to buy us a…

Oh and also, as I said in another thread above: if their registry is barren because they're looking for the cashes, trust me: lack of registry won't stop people from buying you thing things (instead of cash things), it will just drive (more of) them to buy things that you find ugly or useless and have no earthly idea…

You are absolutely right that there should be a range on there (for my two showers some folks who are fellow grad school poors buy us more modest but lovely gifts in the $25-50 range, while a lot of my husband's Persian family and friends bought us $100-150 items). I'd say to tell you friend to try to stick to even…

I heard this rule too and spent too much time worrying about whether or not to use gifts before the wedding, then strategizing which were okay to open, then saying they could only be opened once we sent out a thank-you card....

This this this. We received SO. MUCH. CRYSTAL. that is lovely but not necessary at this stage in our lives and now I'm wondering exactly how I'm supposed to get it safely across the country in a POD once I defend.

Trust me, lack of registry won't stop people from buying you thing things (rather than, as I'd hoped, encouraging them to give us cash things). They'll just buy things you find ugly or useless and have no earthly idea where to return.

My husband proposed on his birthday, and we got married the day after New Years. In it to win it, don't think I'll ever forget either one.

I believe this is the most on point use of gif in my life.

YES. THE PEOPLE DEMAND MORE GENTLEMAN PUG.

Exactly.

I love how effortless this gown looks.

Boooop! (Also, I went to grad school with this guy, wheee!)