Anyway, this is the kind of thing to tell your Japanese character-pillow, not the WaPo readership, who may, one day, take a chance on you.

He’d probably struggle less if he came (winking face emoji) to the realization that he’s not owed sex for all that he’s single and male and wants sex!

I’ve come to accept that Hillary Clinton will always be a fundamental source of disagreement between my dad and I. In a lot of ways, we’re very similar, politically (like, no wonder, he’s the one who had the biggest influence on me, before I left for college ... and majored in political science (sidebar: don’t do this)…

LOL, robotic.

You have to admit that the resemblance is startling though.

True!

I disagree with this artist’s rendering on the grounds that lil Prince George is entirely too cute to play our yamlike president.

A woman? Playing a big important lying man??? A bad man in bad suit whose face gets red every time he lies lies and lies?? A woman can do that? Don’t think so!!!  What’s the world coming to? Where are our values? Who will tell little white Christian boys watching Saturday Night Live that they too can grow up to be…

For sure, I’m just waiting for a remake of The Party in Trump’s America!

OK but what’s her opinion on the neatness of Donald Trump’s desk?

So it goes. *pours one out for the former Daytons - then Marshall Fields - then Macy’s in downtown Saint Paul.*

Every word of that article is straight up amazing. Donald Trump is trapped in a Being There remake of his own making.

How do we know these youths aren’t simply expressing their funerary preferences? Maybe they just want cremation, not a traditional burial!

Just logically wouldn’t it be fire arrow skull? Just asking questions, teens!

Honestly, it sounds like something my parents would do. Mom, respect my boundaries!!

OH HECK. When I was tiny, my cousins and I would eat lychees from my grandfather’s lychee tree by the handfuls. Sometimes it would cause us stomachaches, but no one died! (But then again, we were also middle-class kids who got their evening meals just fine.)

It’s because I knew someone was gonna come along and tell me that his head was too big to be a shrunken head. NO. I MEANT WHAT I SAID.

Johnny Depp looks like a gigantic shrunken head (I know what I said).

“And Maiming Bill Clinton, I Love You Bish BUT GODDAMN”

“Bitch I Told U: A Series of Short Essays By Hillary Clinton”