Yesssss. That book helped me accept and love my naturally thick eyebrows.

She does sound like a baby, I can’t take her very seriously.

Same. I have to look up the lyrics.

I really want to listen to Pitbull’s Florida tourism vid, simply to see something that was so bad that it was rejected by Florida.

I am willing to wank about century-old spoilers though!

Howard’s End has been out for 106 years.

I have one: Ariana Grande, “Dangerous Woman.” It makes me mad because for a split second I think I’m about to hear Aretha singing “Natural Woman” but I’m not. I’m in this hell instead.

I would threaten to fail them, but you don’t need them hanging around for another year.

Aw man, yes, Howard’s End still messes me up. The rich consume the poor, then as well as now. Also, being crushed to death by a bookcase, as mentioned above, is a horrible way to die.

It’s okay, boo. At least you were in Florence!

But were you making out with a handsome floppy-haired man? Pretty sure that completes the experience, imho.

*sets up shop to talk about Merchant-Ivory films*

81. Will my parents ever be proud of me?

This is an amazing story, and yet I am most impressed by the extraordinary pettiness of the anonymous puppy-owner.

Yep. I was expecting my state to vote for Trump, but it still doesn’t feel great to know that my friends and neighbors voted for a guy who clearly doesn’t think people like me deserve equal protection under the law, much less our basic human dignity acknowledged.

Solange and Leonard Cohen got me through the post-election kamikaze sadness spiral. Well, I was and still am extraordinarily depressed by what happened, but I felt (and feel) less alone.

Now, now, I think Republican state houses in Wisconsin and NC and other places that drastically curtailed the voting rights of their minority constituents deserve a lot of credit too!

And what a rich, luxurious salad it is. Dressed with Reverse-Elektra Complex Vinaigrette, shaved truffles (hand-gathered by orphans without health insurance) and finished off with a faux feminist sheen all around it.

This story’s just full of holes.

But what about the Ivanka Salad?