Despite being an ancient and tired 28 year old, I have a subscription to Teen Vogue. At least, I think I do. There’s usually a copy that shows up in my mailbox most months and once I get over the pain of looking at all these fresh young faces and contemplating my own coming irrevelance, I quite enjoy reading it.

Totally!

I’m loving this season! I think Rebecca is slowly coming to the realization that romantic love isn’t going to fix what’s broken inside — she’s gotta work on herself and her non-romantic relationships first. I like it. It’s realistic, but also pretty inspiring for someone like me whose life is also a garbage fire.

I love this show so goddamn much. I watch it live and have to suffer through the last five minutes of The Vampire Diaries to do so. That is how much I love it!!

For every new spidered-man that is born, there is a wolverine that will never die. It is known.

Look, if the artist had done a good job by entertaining Mr. Trump, of course he would’ve paid them!

I didn’t have it until I was an adult (parents didn’t make it for religious reasons) and by the time I did have it, I didn’t like it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Controversial opinion, but I can’t abide the taste of bacon.

‘Literally hysterical’? Okay, Cheban doth protest too much.

What happens when you sell your soul to the Devil and the Devil’s like no thanks, changed my mind?

I have nothing but total, unyielding agreement for the top three. Amazing, perfect, the reason Mariah Carrey will live on forever in our hearts and in our our meme-brains.

It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there and I just didn’t want dear Ann to be forgotten!

And now they’re dating.

Ann Coulter doesn’t even get a shoutout as a hate-fueled blonde? Sad!

Wow, that picture is going straight up haunt my stress dreams for the next four years.

Not dating, just a couple of pals wandering around getting into photogenic scrapes and raising awareness for various charitable causes.

Noooo, it’s got to be Hariri.

So I take it that this mummy is not a normal dead Egyptian aristocrat?

So Papa’s son (and Dad’s grandson) will want to be known as Father, right?

Ah, but what a pick... A woman who thinks child labor laws are in the way of Making America Great Again.