If a pickle could be the antichrist, a pickle would be the antichrist.

You serve chips with lasagna, which is, apart from standing in line, even more British than fucking tea.

Nah. If you want to be considered a woman or a man, act like one. Otherwise, you’re just a jerk.

The thing about our choices of adornments is that though we make our choices, everyone has the right to judge us. Just as we might love a hairstyle, piercing or tattoo, someone else might have a completely different view. Aesthetics aren’t analogous to prejudice. Some people love wallpaper, some don’t. Art is…

Bourdain was righteous in his day, as anyone old enough to have gone to Les Halles during his tenure would know.

They're gonna be screwed when this goes viral.

This why so many Americans think soccer is bullshit. A breath of air will send some dope to the ground, rolling in agony. Then, a team of trainers runs onto the field, deploys a magic spray, and the aforementioned dope spring up like he's had an encounter with Jesus.

During the six months of the year that I don't wear a beard, I shave my face. Every fucking day. 3-4 times a week, I cut myself doing it. 30 goddamn years.

That shit happens. You will also mix up lunch bags out of fatigue and complacency. You will believe lies about brushing of teeth, of wearing sunscreen. You will say, “Be careful”, when you fucking know they’re not going to be careful.

It's a little unrealistic to expect a leader of a group to be immune from negative commentary. Any vocal advocate of a group that seeks publicity has to know they're not going to only receive positive feedback.

Everyday, police go to work acknowledging and accepting that they could be killed. There has been violence against police just for being police, for being symbols.

I mean this in the nicest way...I’m almost sure you’ve never been married to a woman as a man. “Cherished possessions” become “old stuff you never use/wear/read/watch/listen to”, etc. “Get rid of it. We don’t have room.”

Look at all the dopes who ignore that Tupac went to jail for sexual assault, that Ice-T was an actual pimp, that Biggie was a crack dealer, etc...

They were great when they were young ( and I was, too). If one was Irish (not three generations removed, but dual citizen-spent summer there Irish), they actually were the greatest thing ever. Who else did we have? Heroin addicted Thin Lizzy? Stiff Little Fingers? Mostly, just a bunch of asshole Brits in makeup.

The “Nanny” era Fran Drescher was pretty darn easy on the eyes. I'm throwing out the anchor on that one.

Say that when a 6’2”, 200lb woman is trying to punch your lights out or shatter your elbow.

Hunting is extremely popular all over the globe, whether for subsistence or sport. I grew up in PA where deer hunting was not only popular but (still) very necessary to reduce the population. (Don’t even presume to give me shit about that, either, unless you’ve experienced the joy of seeing 100 year old gardens…

Some if us have always hated the fucking Eagles. Because, Jesus Christ, have you listened to the fucking Eagles? Jesus Christ.

The only culture we share is (hopefully) a common desire to do harm to those who call us gingers. Or make fun of freckles. Etc.

She said she had a prior suicide attempt, but wasn’t depressed. Police have to believe what they’re told in that regard. You can’t expect a comprehensive psychiatric examination for every arrestee (no matter how frivolous the arrest), particularly if they deny having problems. That’s not what happens anywhere.