Okay, a few things:

I always knew Goonswam was a bunch of dicks, but naming ones of their corporations after the Nazi air force is seriously messed up

What do you call a Yugo with a thousand miles on it?

A miracle.

I don’t anymore, but only because my roommate’s rabbit chewed through the cable

Most practicing physical therapists are actual Doctors, or are in training to be.

They are Doctors of Physical Therapy, also known as a DPT.

You know, Woodstock happened because two college grads advertised in the Wall Street Journal that they had a lot of money and were looking for something to invest it in. Seriously.

She was one of the naked women on the Robin Thicke’s rape-y music video

Uhm, you DO realize that the Property Brothers have their own line of products at Lowe’s, right? I mean, sure, no magazine, but still

Forgive me if I’m getting this wrong, but if juice is the liquid phase of a fruit (and all solids dissolved therein), then juice should contain pretty much the same nutrients as the fruit itself, minus the insoluble fiber.

You know, everyone says that they wanted more Master Chief, but instead we got more Nathan Fillion. (This is a good thing)

Oh you know that’s what would happen if they showed up on Chopped.

Even if it was the Appetizer round.

Totally completely and utterly OT, but Faith Salie, Mo Rocca and Charlie Pierce would be my dream panel if I ever got on Wait Wait.

So kinda like Nathan Fillion?

Is she related to Biggus Dickus?

No. Never snipe in airsoft. Travel time for the bb’s is too long, which means you have to really, really lead. There is a substantial dearth of quality airsoft sniper rifles available, with most being sub $200 hunks of junk that can’t hit a soda can at 30 feet.

Also, most milsim’ers that I know are a bunch of…

Yeah seriously. Or his education policy.

Free college for all (white people)! Free college only helps those who can get admissions in the first place and aren’t being failed by underfunded and neglected schools.

Of course he does! He just believes that women’s healthcare problems can be solved with more (female) orgasms

Yep!

brief reminder: http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Poe’s_Law
(a little /s never hurt, not that it was difficult to discern in this case)

“change the course of America in ways that are biblical.”
Since when have “Biblical” events ever been good?