BREAKING NEWS! He resigned! I clicked on the Salon link, then was reading the comments. In the comments, someone had a link to a change.org petition to remove him. So I clicked on that to sign it to get rid of this sorry sorry excuse for a person, and at the bottom it said he had resigned. Here's the link to the…

I did not have sexual relations with that woman. #LiesToldByMales

That's HUGE! My sister had an accident years ago and my parents (WITH DENTAL INSURANCE) ended up paying tens of thousands of dollars for her reconstruction, which took years and years. That stuff is SO expensive. What a great doctor and a positive story.

It's because it's totally dehumanizing. We usually use the term "female" to refer to animals, not human beings. It makes the fact of a person's femaleness more important that the fact of their humanity. It also lends a false air of objectivity and science to a lot of incredibly fucked-up ideas about how women…

For the record, that's a #LieToldByMales too. Because, um, I've never done that.

• Plucking stray chin/sideburn/god knows where else hairs

Mine takes much longer showers than I do. I also believe that he may spend several minutes putting the toilet seat up, then down, then up again, debating the politics behind leaving it up when I have asked him not to. (I have fallen in when it is dark and I don't want to turn the light on at 3 in the morning, true…

That is exactly what I want to know! I don't understand what ladies are doing in the stalls AFTER they've flushed. Are you wearing a very serious chastity belt that needs to be re-locked/draped? Are you changing pants? There aren't mirrors in there that I know of, so you can't be reapplying lipstick/examining…

TWEEZE ALL THE HAIRS

SO

I can't masturbate in the bathroom. It just doesn't feel sexy. I can masturbate in the car though.

• Debating whether I have a mustache and, if I do, questioning whether other people see it.

You just described my life from about 11-18.

• Sacrificing men to the Dark Lord

• Waiting for my body to air dry because lazy

• staring at pores in magnifying mirror

Usually, I'm just checking to see if my human face is still in place. Wouldn't want my naturally scaly green skin to show up at an awkward time...

• Blow. Sometimes I'm doing blow.