Another hot take: her husband’s name is Oscar.

Horseradish? Nah, it has to be Russian dressing.

I will forever be outraged by the cheap ham tho...forever and ever....

That looks like the Oscar Mayer chopped ham my parents used to buy back in the 80s (before the sodium scares). The only way you could make it taste halfway decent was really good EarthGrains Thin wheat bread (RIP), lettuce, mustard, and maybe thinly sliced tomato. The sandwich as pictured, bigger labia or no, needs…

He’s got a Top 5 hit, possibility of going #1 (It’s already #1 in several other countries)

And don’t they love Swift? Or has she deviated too much from her ‘girl next door’ thing and now they don’t like her anymore.

Right?! Maybe the only Calvin Harris stan in the universe was just trying to get some payback for Hiddleswift and it backfired gloriously? I’m hopeful...

I have exactly one uppity Christian mom on my Facebook feed (my kid was friends with her kid, I was unaware of the zealotry) and I cannot bring myself to flush her. Her Facebook page is like a circus train derailment, it’s so comically that I can’t look away. I am weak.

I initially read that as a string of attributes, so:

I’m disappointed in the quality of that ham.

Maybe it’s, like, a Twitter spam bot that achieved sentience somehow. That’s the only way to explain this, because I can’t accept that such a heinous person actually exists.

Hot take: Jennifer Mayer is a food stylist gone rogue.

I wouldn’t be shocked if it turned out to be a guy behind this troll account.

This says nutcase troll putting people on. She added it...

Actually I think she might be pokemon.

Exactly, for that reason I would prefer to be the ham sandwich on the left if given the choice. Less guesswork for the hubster and whatnot.

What is the “Lord GUATEMALAN”? I am imagining a Q’uq’umatz-like feathered serpant.

For real though, I’m mainly impressed with the attention to detail in giving that ham sandwich a clitoris.

Jennifer Mayers is clearly Tomatoface or whatever the fuck he’s calling himself mow.

I thought it was fake too. Everyone knows uppity Christian moms only use Facebook.