I went to college with Tom Jensen - the director of Public Policy Polling, and the person we all need to thank for bringing Deez Nuts’ candidacy to our attention. Tom is delightfully weird, and channels that weirdness into a few odd ball questions in each poll it puts together. He swears those odd ball questions make…

Best part in that entire linked story:

So the takeaway from this is that Lindsay Graham is poling below Deez Nuts?

I know. It takes me back to middle school as well, and that was a really long time ago.

No doubt- that joke is nearly twice as old as the kid who instigated it.

Brady Olson, the 15 year old Iowan who made this up- let’s hope he uses his powers for good when he leaves home. One Frank Luntz is too many already.

This is the first thing I see when I open the internet today. Who knew a 15 year old from Iowa could give me such joy on my birthday? I feel like Jared Fogle.

The only thing that would make this better would be Kate Smith singing God Bless America in the background. What a time to be alive.

They say that Deez Nuts is an Independent, but in my experience he has always leaned more to the left.

Munchma Quchi 2016!

Flashbacks to a particular episode of Law and Order: Criminal Intent that covered the very topic (shut up, I have a D’Onofrio crush). I had nightmares for weeks that I was carrying a stone fetus.

I want mine to say “She would have been immortal, if not for the diabetes”.

Maybe she’s carrying one of those “fossilized” babies I see featured sometimes on Ripley’s Believe It Or Not tv show on the Travel Channel.

I was picturing the Anchorman fight scene.

I told you I was sick is definitely the best gravestone ever.

• “Matthew is not a compassionate individual. He is a control freak, and the more money he has, the more fucking ruthless he is.”

Yeah, any root veggie and I’m all up in it!

Holy shit, can you imagine how many lives we could have saved in the developing world if it was actually possible to mass-vaccinate people by flying jets overhead? Polio would be gone by now for sure and we could probably get rid of all sorts of parasitic worms too!

My best friend who works in the dairy industry was visiting the last time we saw one and she could. not. handle it. They roped the whole conspiracy theory in with GMOs and basically everything food related. She followed behind the march (because these protests are walking protests) muttering like she was the one that…

They also believe chemtrails control the weather. It’s amazing how many times I’ve read on these anti-vax sites that the government could make it rain in Claifornia, but are choosing not to.