In a hotel lobby Cal Ripken Jr. lied to my brother and I about giving us autographs and instead went and got security to remove us from from the premises. I was 12 my brother was 7.

Steve Blass strikes again.

Not the worst Canadian to go #1 though, so he's got that going for him.

Steve Blass strikes again.

I'll take the cure for $1000.

Is there a ton of QB’s who failed in the pros for no other reason than their height? “They had arm strength, accuracy, pocket presence, avoided bad turnovers, were good leaders but WERE JUST TOO SHORT!”

Which two Indiana Jones movies were the government behind?

Can we give Bohemian Rhapsody winning best editing a shout out? I seems petty but holy shit. 

*Spike Lee angrily tweets Red Green’s address”

If we’re stereotyping now, I assume anyone with that nose job/selfie filter combo says the n-word a little online and a lot at home.

Who could’ve guessed the guy who got The Strokes into heroin would be a dirtbag?

4th grade recess Pokemon stock exchange. Dozen kids, 2 cords, lots of yelling, very few actual trades, that time Robert Oldenburg found a mouse and it bit him. Good times.

“When I lived in Florida, I lived on the east side of Orlando, and it took me two hours from my driveway to the Tropicana Field parking lot — and that’s if I hit no traffic at all.”

Can we start a deathpool but for revelations over past blackface use because I think I know who my submission would be.

People have the nerve to call Strom Thurmond a racist and we don’t even know how many mixed-race children he’s fathered.

And yet the Raiders would have a shorter commute to San Francisco than the San Francisco 49er's.

While I was thinking Ron Howard..

Basked on my 6th grade experience here’s how this will gob

This episode made my girlfriend cry as hard as she does as when she dreams about her childhood dog.

Yeah Northsiders are the fucking worst.