As someone whose husband has forgotten more than once to feed breakfast to our kid, I want to encourage to ignore everything petitetroit has said (and also getoffmylawn). My husband has been taught his entire life that he can be a dad and husband without having to take care of anyone but himself as long as he can pay…

Yes. This is exactly it. And sure, maybe the wife is judged for no Mother’s Day card for the mother-in-law when you are married and maybe not, but judgment sure as hell falls on the wife once there are kids. And it only falls on the mom from school and from other parents. I did leave my job at the same time my kid was…

Me too! I’m always caught off guard when he actually pitches in. last weekend he went grocery shopping because we didn’t have the groceries he really wanted and he even took one of the kids with him. The really tough part is he was unemployed for nearly two years and I was able to slightly rely on him to do more…

Preach.  I find the mental labor so much more exhausting than any other part of parenting.

I feel this about husband not seeing the mental load. I feel it so much.

This is so me. My husband is very present with my son, and a great dad to him, but he is completely unaware of all the other shit I do to keep our house running. Buying weather appropriate clothes, packing up the old ones when they’re outgrown, making sure blankets and sheets they use at daycare at naptime are taken…

I’m also West Coast suburban, probably upper class given my neighborhood but we work for paychecks. My husband is light years ahead of the dudes in our area (most of whom are married to stay at home moms). But he’s still pretty similar to yours. He cleans up more now and took on doing most of our laundry. But he…

the problem that you seem not to grasp is that is not folding or cleaning the bathroom, those you consider choices who drain you.

Your story sounds like mine. I’m sorry it is hard right now and I send you internet hugs. Are you seeing someone for mental health? It took me a while to work up to it, but that hour twice a month became non-negotiable time. Also - when I started seeing a therapist my husband seemed to finally understand that I was…

You basically wrote my life (aside of the millennial part, xennial here). My husband would have no idea about the extra stuff our kids do if it weren’t me hammering it in every week. I send him emails, add him to calendars, tell him in person and he is clueless. He is clueless because he wants to be and it is a lot of…

Ah, yes. The good old “the solution to male misogyny is to expect their female partners to take on the additional emotional load of teaching men to be adults” response, with an added bonus serving of “living up to the inherent responsibilities of adulthood is actually just a personal preference” nonsense.

This is my situation as well. My husband is a huge help, he helps out way more than any of my friends husbands, but he has to be asked to do things. He will do them, but I have to remember to make very detailed lists or send multiple text messages. Our child would be running around naked, eating cheddar bunnies, and…

I don’t see how these shape the choices of single, working mothers, other than a minor reference in Miller’s piece. What I do know is that I was the breadwinner in my marriage AND I took care of all the home and child needs, exclusively. Though he made much less, we needed his income (or I thought I did - turns out I…

PP operates like a franchise basically, so culture will vary with each affiliate. I worked at PP for seven years and the culture was fantastic for pregnant women, lots of encouragement and support and leave opportunities. However, it was messed up in a bunch of other ways. It’s all about the leadership in a place. PP…

What ya’ll have described here is basically the atmosphere at any small non-profit institution (yes, Planned Parenthood is a big organization, but the actual medical centers are mostly autonomous and fend for themselves). The poor pay and poor treatment of people who work for non-profits is a really, really bad…

I firmly believe that the national business model for PP is to hire ‘em young and idealistic and CHEAP, work them into the GROUND, and then expect them to leave for better working conditions elsewhere. This creates an environment of near constant turnover. The money spent on TRAINING alone could account for raises…

I find kombucha tasty, but this is accurate.

It pours out of him during intimacy.

Kombucha is just yeast soda

Similarly, while I was probably about the size of Barb from Stranger Things in high school and that gave me enough baggage to last a lifetime, it’s difficult to watch something that revolves around the supposed unattractiveness of someone smaller and frankly pretty self-evidently cute.