Counterpoint: I use a broad range of punctuation to structure my writing—commas, semicolons, colons, dashes en and em, parentheses (which get nested thus: “([{}])”), etc.—and I once had a professor tell me to replace all of them—all of them, in sentences that were usually paragraph-length—with commas.

Also, the comma after “that” inside the parentheses is missing. When you are going to use parenthetical sentences, which I actually like, and think are suitable, you’ve got to use all of the commas you are entitled to. Otherwise, you’re just asking the readers to walk through an Enchanted Forest without leaving them…

He’s a libertarian so doing whatever they want whenever they want for personal gain is their entire philosophy.

Oh my god! This is the Massacre at Bowling Green that Kellyanne Conwoman was talking about! She can see the future!

I bet he mows at 6:30 in the morning on a Saturday, and then plays music full blast at midnight. 

The first thing I said when I heard this story was literally, “Was he mowing his lawn diagonally or something?” and now I see that he was, in fact, mowing his lawn. So... was he?

Yeah, I know that politics aren’t unlikely, but it would be an interesting twist if this whole thing was over some “you built your new fence 2 inches onto my property and won’t re-do it” kind of neighbor drama.

I love that they’re pinning it on the neighbor being a liberal and disagreeing with Rand Paul’s views, when it could just as easily have been that Rand Paul is one of those assholes who blows leaves onto your lawn.

Oh Oh [raising my hand in 6th grade class] we could repeal the second amendment and ban private ownership of semi automatic weapons with detachable magazines and to the extent you can buy and own a rifle we keep track of you so that you can’t get 12. For starters. It works in other countries, so I’m not crazy. Before…

“I believe the problem is that we do not teach our youth the value of human life.” 

Yuuuge amounts of grain (and prayer).

You’re saying the average 400 lbs couch cowboy who’s maybe shot a few beercans at best can’t flip a switch in a life-threatening chaotic situation in a crowded room full of panicking, frantic people and become the John Rambo they’d need him to be to make a difference?

I couldn’t help but notice that there aren’t any “GITMO! DEATH SENTENCE!” tweets coming out of the White House. Hmmm.

Churches store thoughts and prayers up just like the Pyramids stored grain. It’s science.

You’d also think that, being Texas with its open carry laws, there would have been plenty of good guys with guns ready to stop this. Maybe that whole narrative is a bunch of crap as well.

Please. Out of respect for the victims and their families, don’t make this political with your facts.

Well the nice thing here is, since it’s a church, the thoughts and prayers won’t have to travel very far. Very convenient.

Bump stocks went back on sale the start of of the week. By the end of the week, a mass-shooting.

Man, if anywhere was going to have a magical bulletproof blanket of thoughts and prayers, it’d be a church on Sunday morning. I’m starting to get the sense that maybe those thoughts and prayers aren’t working as intended.