I feel bad for this kid! His petty crime made international news because of a name he probably already gets loads of shit for.

Please tell me that’s a parody account.

Tiffany? Really? There goes my last iota of respect for any member of that family.

Did Jesus hotbox the oval office??

If Obama did that, it would be plastered all over Fox News every day for the entirety of his presidency.

He probably thought it was an anthem for him. I mean look at that smug face.

Because he’s too busy thinking about how awesome he is. See how smug he looks? Until his wife nudges him. Asshole.

I about lost my damn mind over some of the coverage I saw of that. “Melania Trump had to remind her husband of this during the pledge”...for fuck’s sake, don’t sugar coat it. The fucking president can’t manage what millions of first graders do every morning.

Stop bullying him, he’s clearly high as fuck on goofballs. This shit is hard when off you’re nut.

he can’t even do the pledge...

Who doesn’t love lemons?

except for the place where the eight-year-old tipped over the salt spreader and dumped a bunch of salt right there in the middle of the driveway.

I don’t know what’s worse - that, or when you finally finish shoveling and the asshole plow driver comes barreling back up your street to throw more fucking heavy-ass snow on the end of your driveway.

at one point the younger one broke into tears and accused me of treating them like slaves (he’s six), which occasioned a short and stern conversation.

I strongly support your interest in living in the country and becoming some sort of bumpkin/redneck food wizard. BUT, and this is an important but, you’re going to need to invest in some redneck tools of the trade. One of these should be a busted-ass POS pickup, that smells more like dog/fish/deer than anything…

People outside of the snowbelt are funny. The actual punchline is when you’ve got it clear and then overnight, another one comes through and you start all over again-every day for four months.

Those boys are going to have that driveway as a bitching point for the rest of their lives.

Get a snowblower.