haha, for reals. How many of the dudes running against her could point out where Paraguay is on a map? Bernie probably could. and maybe...Carson...? (but only because he seems like he was a super-duper good book-learnin’-student who never had time for crazy stuff like “friends” or “empathy”).

Even if this one is a hoax, I have heard this idea pitched multiple times by people who take themselves super seriously. The best was a NYC techie who straightfaced preached in a Jobsian Inspirational Tone: “I want to change the world by giving people a chance to face the judgement of their peers.”

Oh gosh, Ye Rustic Inn - I used to live a block away, it’s a special place. Formally famous for being the site of Kiefer Sutherland’s epic pound-10-shots-of-yäg-and-50-chicken-wings-then-do-karate-on-the-bar thursdays.

right? the worst is when your friend mistakes that severed finger for visine and pokes you in the eye.

Watch out guys, with hot retweet-favorite action like that, he’s really making an impact with the youths.

One of my all-time-favorite drinking games is one my girlfriends and I made up in college. It’s called “WHAT THE FUCK IS IN MY PURSE!”

No, man, I don’t think this post is an introspective analysis. This is just a reporting of an event, granted with a sarcastic bias.

Dances are designed to give young people a chance to explore romance and socialization in a less-structured environment, a place for them to have fun and start to understand the role sexual attraction has in forming relationships.

It’s almost as if burgeoning human sexuality was a nuanced subject with complicated historical issues regarding morality and safety! It might even be that through journalistic reporting, we can analyze specific situations as they arise, perhaps gaining a greater insight into both the ingrained cultural stereotypes…

Oh my pearls, those icky, icky teens and their butt groping in the GYM of all places! IS NO WHERE SACRED?

You can just imagine him saying to a teenage gunman holding him at gunpoint, “I believe you want that cheerleader behind the teacher’s desk.”

I think Hook was the only Peter Pan revision that really tried to throw out the racism. Like instead of a “war whoop” the boys crowed, the lost boys were racially diverse and Rufio’s costume was inspired by Mohawk people but it felt more like a tribute and not like a stereotype.

I mean, comedy skills aside, she’s a really great presidential candidate.

Must Be Nice = I don’t deserve sympathy or respect but I demand both.

It’s 1989.

I just uttered a little gasp of joy when it fell. Then I hoped no one was hurt. But first, schadenfreude.

It’s weird how nutballs people are about celebrity’s kids. I once ate at the same restaurant as Suri Cruz when she was about 6...it was really horrifying to see how many grown-ass adults were waiting for her to come outside so they could snap a picture. She wasn’t even with her parents, just a nanny and like four body…

How I imagine the person who issued that statement about Chris Brown:

whhhhat are you talking about. “you simply cannot” is a nonsense statement. I always have a vaginal orgasm almost right away when penetrated by a good penis.

why. why can’t the dudes I date see that the deeply weird, systematic oppression of the female gender is a REAL THING. Here it is, guys. Right here.