Knowing absolutely nothing about the teams or even the sport is a great way to win the league.

Wow, that’s uncanny! That chart predicted exactly what happened to me this week! But what about next week?

“Now that I have no power whatsoever and the fight is effectively over, I’m willing to concede that maybe homosexuals are most likely not an abomination.”

Some of those bots are real teases, though.

Maybe she can see into the future and she found out you’re going to tweet something awful at her in a few months.

Only if Steve Jobs is played by a woman.

I JUST NOW realized that wasn’t the title, thanks to your comment. It’s not a good title if so many people read it wrong.

Just perfect.

Oh my god, I just became one with the autotune.

I know, right?

You probably knew about Bubonic plague in North America before it was cool.

No, we don’t actually vote. Voting is purely an abstraction at this point. The campaign just drags on interminably, symbolizing the futility of human existence.

Or have it cross-stitched on a menu, then framed.

It’s possible that the kid is well-behaved because he’s used to dealing with insane mommy. He can’t throw a tantrum because mom already is throwing one. It might be his job to calm her down.

I will always star comments mentioning feeding a cat peas with a spoon. It doesn’t come up as often as I would like.

When someone calls you “sheeple,” you know that everything else they say is going to be really interesting and helpful. That word pretty much guarantees that your life will never be the same, that’s how hard your mind will get blown.

Wow, a round of applause to Snake Person! That is completely indistinguishable from actual right-wing emails. I pretty much can only tell it’s a joke because I recognize your name. It’s just dead-on. I’m in awe.

Done and done.

And then everyone would love you, because everyone loves wombats. :-)

FWIW, my spouse has also called the nomination for Rubio. I’m too horrified by the clown car primary to call anything.