I have a friend who would not let her kids stay at Grandma's house because Grandma had wi-fi.

She needs to tell her Aunt Flo to visit on a more regular schedule so that she doesn't have these problems at the parking Depo. If she'd Tri-cyclen, she'd have better luck as well.

We will never get a Cruze Wagon.

Hey, DOT: how many tie-rod snapping potholes could be fixed with the money spent on this cute little project? How many torn tires, new shocks, bent alloys?

If you're marketing to the very rich, you've got to get it right.

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

Which would still make him a Millennial.

What a great kid. Well-spoken, polite, makes good eye contact with the adults he's speaking with. Restores my faith in humanity!

Tonight on Nature... the shy and elusive hipster long sought after by marketers and sociologists alike. Watch as we set up a blind here in this abandoned factory to observe their strange nesting rituals. Look! The male hipster is using his West Elm charge card to attract a female!

Funny. My Taurus from this era went over 275,000 miles and was still running when my sister sold it to a Cuban in Miami for $600 last year. Never replaced transmission, any part of the brake system other than linings, or head gasket.

I like being able to open the doors of a car in a parking space without worrying about smacking them against another vehicle. And I like my friends and kid enough to not want to make them climb into the back of a coupe.

Thank you. I was thinking just about exactly the same thing.

You know why I hate coupes? The doors are too big.

I heart the Sonic commercial. It's just the right combination of silly stunts and awesome music.

I was taking issue with your "I blame Jalopnik." I learned in high screwl English that when you're putting forth an argument in writing, your first sentence sets up or states your main point.

*snort*

A Hello Kitty Smart Car. It'll fit through those narrow London streets. I think it's exempt from any congestion charges. It's the cooler, hipper version of the Pink Yaris of Shame.

Yeesh.

Bravo, Leadfoot! Just the right mix of engine noise and background music. Bonus: the music didn't make me want to tear my ears off and eat them whilst grunting in pain.