Or maybe wrap its trunk around the ankle of one of these induhviduals and bodyslam her to the floor. Why, she might even break a nail.

Technically, they should be described as CUNTs: Civilians Under Naval Training. So you are mostly correct.

Also a less-than-honorable discharge (at best) awaits these individuals and that will leave them with very few employment options that don’t involve french fries. Plus, depending on how long they’ve been in, they may get hit for training costs and any signing bonuses. Military justice is swift and pretty damn harsh.

Newman-Os are tasty and the profits go to good causes, so you shouldn’t wretch. Although if you are a wretch, I could see how you might do that from time to time.

Newman-Os are tasty and the profits go to good causes, so you shouldn’t wretch. Although if you are a wretch, I…

Most decent stations these days have security tape that is applied to the outside of the pump to show if it has been opened. Look for that, too.

Looks like you were a bit too subtle. Maybe use a sledgehammer next time.

Good analysis.

Greg Abbott. One G, 2 Ts. Or you can just call him Weasel like we do at my house. It’s easier to spell, too.

Something similar happened to my parents years ago, with a mattress set my dad donated to his favorite charity. Everyone who came to the charity’s breakfast had their ticket stubs put in a box, which my dad held while the charity’s head pulled the winning stub. He pulled my dad’s stub — much hilarity ensued. Then he…

This? Is brilliant. I wish I had thought of this years ago.

I was with you up until the burgers. They are delicious both ways.

That part’s easy, because that is one of the main reasons I bought it, too. My Blu-ray player does not like to stay hooked to my wifi and so I was looking for another solution. We have an ancient Roku, a missing Chromecast (lost when we moved last year) and so I thought I’d give the Fire stick a try.

That part’s easy, because that is one of the main reasons I bought it, too. My Blu-ray player does not like to stay…

I do, but since I just got it last weekend I haven’t used it much. Is there something specific you’d like to know? I can try that and report back.

I do, but since I just got it last weekend I haven’t used it much. Is there something specific you’d like to know? I…

My husband has a couple of Benson-approved Aukey USB-C things for his Pixel and they’ve all worked perfectly.

My husband has a couple of Benson-approved Aukey USB-C things for his Pixel and they’ve all worked perfectly.

Got a Penzeys order today, in fact. Loves me some Penzeys!

Thanks for the heads-up on the vacuum sealer. I missed it on Sunday but not this time. Lifehacker may help me save time but you sure as hell don’t help me save any money!

Thanks for the heads-up on the vacuum sealer. I missed it on Sunday but not this time. Lifehacker may help me save…

Someone not only didn’t read the textbook, but he couldn’t be bothered to read the damn article before commenting on it. Plus telling instructors how they ought to teach, to boot. I bet he was just a joy to have as a student.

I spent my first 35 years there, so I consider myself fairly knowledgeable. I was just snarking on the number of people who want to know how long it takes to drive to/from Hawaii.

8th graders? Nope, if they were 15, they were 10th graders. High school sophomores. Well old enough to know just exactly what they were doing, how dangerous it was, even if they’re poorly educated enough to not know the historical and racial implications. (Not that I think that’s the case, just to be clear.)

If the kids decide to become public figures, they are as fair game as their parents. I’d clarify that the “public figures” criterion applies to spouses, too. In this particular case, I’d hate to see both this young man and his mother be the target of anything but unalloyed sympathy.