As a policy, “defund the police” makes perfect sense.

Stop kissing your pets in the mouth people.

The rare instance where I support the use of an unsolicited Dick pick 

Everyone seems to have forgotten that Homer owns the Denver Broncos.

Lord of Ducks has it about right. Flavor. Other grades of olive oil are basically no different than any other neutral cooking oil, but tend to be more expensive.

The answer to all those Qs is basically flavor. You get the “best” flavor from the first press. It taste the most like olive oil.

Guess there is a lot of money in dong drawings?

His name is Luca. He lives on the ocean floor. 

Call Me By Your Newt

Say what you will about the Punky Brewster revival but, clearly-visible wires aside, it was ballsy of them to bring back George Gaynes.

Instead of Kenan, the show should’ve been Willie.

I honestly never thought of Buffalo Bill as being trans—I thought of him as a killer with a particular fetish. So as far as I’m concerned, trans people can relax...the movie’s diabolical plan to make me fear trans people did not work.

My family dildo was all that they could carry with them when they fled their homes in the civil war  passed from father to son and back for generations.

Coke Zero is a lot better than Diet Coke. It has a less metallic taste to it.

Maybe they were out sick.

Olive Garden is neither as bad as the decades of jokes would suggest, nor particularly good in any way.

First they came for the violent agitators but I said nothing because I was not a violent agitator.

I enjoyed the pilot a lot more than episode 2. Thought the first one had some good Tina Fey absurdist lines (erotic dementia! Podiatric claustrophobia) but it definitely needs to sharpen its teeth in either a satirical way or on a character level. Thought Bobby Moynihan was the MVP of these two episodes though I…

Original version of “Grugg Kills Mammoth” much better. Me hate special edition where Mammoth attack first.

“Following hundreds of hours interviews and extensive research, we have concluded that Joss Whedon repeatedly and maliciously flouted the ‘one Rice Krispies treat per customer’ rule and as a result we have charged his Warner Brothers commissary account an additional $46.17. No further remedial action will be taken at…