1. "Not many women can wear denim overalls, strappy Louboutin stilettos, and a Navajo-blanket poncho and get away with it, but Blake Lively can. "

To Blake's PR reps: I know you're reading this. I'm going to break some shit down below but before I do, I want to ask you to please PLEASE go into politics or philanthropy or something where you are able to change the lives of people in need. I say this because you are CLEARLY AMAZING AT YOUR JOB and could sell…

She wore a lab coat most of the time so you couldn't tell her booty wasn't a saggy lump of smart-person-butt potatoes. You'll notice when she stopped wearing the coat they wrote her off the show because suspension of disbelief was so broken.

I understand the point of jail and punishing people for bad things, even when they didn't mean to do bad things. People who drink and drive don't MEAN to hurt anyone, but they do, and they should be punished. People who leave loaded guns in rooms with children don't MEAN for the kids to play with the gun, but they do,…

"Hey, hey, hey, Ri Ri, hey. Its me, Charlie Sheen. You know, from Platoon. Anyway, I can see its your birthday because you are here with all your friends and you are having fun, but would you might posing with my fiance while I take pictures and talk too close to your face? I was almost in the Mighty Ducks but a space…