Here, let me make it easy for you. You ever heard of a guy called Keanu Reeves? He’d ride a Vespa. All day long with a smile on his face. Lee Marvin? Donuts in the parking lot at Trader Vic’s. All day long with a smile on his face.

I would drive across the country in a Vespa before I would drive across town in a Harley, Honda, BMW, Buell, whatever.

I won’t go into details, but I once had a roommate who(Deep breath) was a greasy little creep with a bad case of the smarm and a faint whiff of date rape that followed him around like a fart in an elevator. He had been brought in by my old roommate, when that roommate was arrested for homicide, he ended up signing the…

Since he’s selling it in Indiana I would imagine he’s banking on the fact that there are people there who might want one, but have no idea how to deal with the language barrier and paperwork.

Agreed.

Nope. They’re the first ones to ask their white cop husband to yell at a person of color walking past their house.

There is nothing so blessed as a parent who makes time for their child’s happiness.

They closed down the Cinerama? Man, that was where you used to be able to catch late releases for cheap. Carlito’s Way? Good flick. Carlito’s Way in the theater for a buck twenty five? Fucking great.

This is the queen we’re talking about here. She’d want the gang AND the gang of Tanqueray.

To be fair, if half the world has your face on their money and you are the living embodiment of generational wealth and privilege, then maybe that half of the world is being operated like a Ponzi scheme that will wise up and kick you to the curb the moment you stick your dick in the Suez Crisis because they can see…

Wrist deep in a Cypriot transgender was my bet. Huh. Welp, the bet was only 50 Euros. Live and learn, I guess.

So... here’s the Full Moon story:

We just had four years of bullies in the last administration to recognize how useless toxic abusive behavior can be, compounded by the fact that the last year they were in power over half a million people died and millions lost their jobs while all these assholes did was behave like even worse bullies in order to…

I disagree. It’s one untied belt and a white russian away from achieving abideness.

Now THAT is a great British-American cross pollinated insult.

You mean like Trump’s campaign manager Brad Parsquale?

Exactly thirteen months ago to the fucking day:

No, Colin Jost is a blue lives matter bumper sticker on a white BMW come to life.

I could barely give a shit about sports, but I would sometimes go to Deadspin just to read the comments. Hilarious.

It’s now looking like this was some kind of pre-gofundme campaign performative stunt on the guy’s part in order make him look like a victim of cancel culture instead of a shitheel who pocketed the health insurance premiums of his employees. Basically, the guy’s shadier than a gazebo: