All the hyperdrive ships in Star Wars travel at light speed. There’s no such thing as a “faster” lightspeed ship. That means the only way to make the Kessel Run “faster” is to cut corners and shorten the travel distance.

When everyone moves at lightspeed, cutting distance is the only way to cut travel time. Han making the run in 12 parsecs makes sense, then. He was able to cut corners and shorten the travel distance, which is why he made the run faster than anyone else: because he made it shorter.

Quaid........start...the reactor....

I mean, of course it’s a measure of distance. Every ship with a hyperdrive travels at the same speed: light speed. So being the “fastest ship in the galaxy” has nothing to do with your travel speed and everything to do with your maneuverability, and your ability to shave distance off of your travel route. That’s the…

What’s wrong with the Kessel Run line?

I tried. It’s better, but still not reliable enough to use for gaming.

So millennials are to blame for the Democrats losing the election? That’s your take?

Wifi. Frankly, if I need to run a wire from room to room to make it work, I may as well just run an HDMI cable to my TV.

It was dumb of me to use a feature that’s supposed to be one of the main functions of the device?

This is a cool idea, but in my experience the Steam Link has been a bust. Constant stuttering and sound issues during gameplay regardless of signal strength has made it pretty much worthless to me. It’s too bad, because when it occasionally works right, it’s fantastic, but it’s way too unreliable to actually be worth…

It’s almost impressive how completely wrong you are.

Am I supposed to confront every asshole who makes a racist comment in front of my black friend?

Gotta disagree. It’s a beautiful game to look at, but mechanically it’s pretty shallow. There’s only a handful of activities you’ll engage in, and they get repetitive pretty quickly. If you’ve cleared one fort or animal den, you’ve done them all.

Who wins doesn’t matter. The whole point is the ogling that we get to do along the way. The “winner” is just a scam they use to pretend this isn’t about looking at tits in the first place.

This is the lesson that white people have the hardest time learning. I know it took me an embarrassingly long time to really understand. Our society was built from the very beginning upon an assumption of white supremacy, and therefore being a white person in our society starts you at a default level of racism. Not on…

Really? When has that ever happened?

It is good for me. Thanks for noticing.

I was born and raised in North Texas, so....not for me. We wouldn’t have a chance in hell of winning, but I’d still watch.

Any plans to pick up Danny Trejo on the way?

*In baked goods that is, mayo on a sandwich is still not advised*