Trump: You know, Luke was a terrible Jedi. That’s true. He didn’t complete his training with Yoda and got his hand chopped off by his dad. Sad. I’d never get my hand chopped off, and that has nothing to do with the size of my hands. My hands are actually huge. They’re luxurious. They’re the best hands.

Umm because it’s actually kind of difficult to topple someone with greater height/reach/mass/muscle than yourself? If they punch a guy in the chest they’re aiming a little above his center of gravity and he might get knocked back, but he’s probably not going to fall over.

Sounds like the normal typical behavior of anime fans that sit on the floor of Barnes and Noble and read manga for 5 hours straight.

(in reality the most likely case is that an employee nicked the disc and re-wrapped the thing somewhere down the line)

The husband could be really, really skilled with shrinkwrap tampering.

It sounds like she opened it from a shrinkwrapped box though from the article.

I would have assumed it was already illegal to wildly discharge a weapon in a residential area, but you know what they say about assuming....

Bruce Lee is that you?

The nachos in my microwave took longer to finish than Rousey’s career tonight.

I get being upset if it’s the team that’s up by 11 that tries the shot but to get your panties in a twist just because the losing team tries to make the score a little more respectable? Fuck off.

Hey, I know people keep calling this guy Elite, but he gets into all sorts of trouble when he gets out of the pocket.

When it comes to the treatment of the cheerleaders it’s nice to see someone giving a fuck

Asshole didn’t replace his divot.

Well at least now he has a handicap

One in hole!

The fucking irony there is pretty mind blowing.

he does realize that we owe them 1.157 trillion dollars, right? i’m not sure what leverage he thinks we have in this economic situation.

Because of all of Tony Romo’s experience leading them to the Super Bowl...

Tony Romo’s collarbone isn’t real, though.